How To Build Confidence

Learning how to build confidence is the foundation for success!

By Scott Canipe

You can learn how to build confidence with the correct knowledge and implementing the proper techniques. Self-confidence is crucial for anyone that’s trying to reach his or her potential. You cannot achieve your personal growth unless you have the confidence within to fulfill targeted goals that are without. This is crucial!

Allow me to start by pointing out that there is a correct way and there is a wrong approach in learning how to build confidence.

Many people with low self-esteem must have the approval of others to feel of value. Desiring the accolades and approval from your peers is an inappropriate way to boost your self-confidence. This way is in-direct and the results are shallow because you are relying upon others for your false sense of self-worth.  

Too many people with this approach put on an outward beside for others to notice and engage in unfavorable conduct such as:

• Constantly correct someone in a public setting to get noticed or show superiority
• Over-committing themselves when they cannot fulfill that which they had promised
• Agree with others on specific issues or topics that they know nothing about or genuinely do not acquiesce to just to get approval
  
  

This is a waste of time because you are putting too much energy effort in relying upon others to make you feel self-confident. It is true, that all of us enjoy the proverbial pat on the back or being recognized for our accomplishments. This appeals to and stimulates our egos. It is something that is deeply embedded within certain clusters of neurons in the brain that are associated with the pain and pleasure centers. These clusters are found in the neo-cortex and visual cortex that form aversion or attractive patterns.   

The proper method is to focus specifically upon what your objectives are with the sole intent of fulfilling them. You must decide what you want and then go after it much fervency. Think about the end results of when you accomplish your goals. Do this regardless of what others may think of you. You may receive approval or you may have to endure much resistance. 

Inevitably, if you are courageous enough to be you in what-ever you are doing, you will be noticed by others. They will respect you, even, at times, if they are in disagreement with what you do. Some will praise you and others will despise you. You will only be noticed after you have a momentum going which illustrates that you are serious about your endeavors. This gets you respect and this respect turns into admirers or you may attract enemies. 

however, that being said, you must have feelings of indifference when dealing with admirers or adversaries. The most important thing is to focus on your goals and make them into a reality.

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The Techniques

As stated in the previous article and videos, there are great benefits for having a strong self-confident demeanor. But how can you learn to experience this and enjoy these attributes. The following are three effective ways that will teach you how to build confidence: 

1. Visualization - Visualization simply means to form images and scenes in the mind in order to achieve a particular goal. This is a very powerful exercise for it starts in the brain. The brain is regarded as the most important organ in the body. It is the control center for all of its functions. Hence, the importance of visualization.

Visualization was used in ancient times, but it's starting to really flourish in the 20th century. Many noted psychologists began to implement it in techniques for their patients. In the 1970s, the Soviet Union studied, tested and utilized it in sporting events.  The Soviets would mentally visualize how they would perform before they actually engaged in any sport. It proved to be effective and the rest of the world adopted this technique.

There has been research which supports that brain patterns in people who practice visualization versus those who do not accomplish more. There was a study done in weightlifters and the results are found here. 

Some of the best ways to benefit from visualization are to spend some time in tranquility creating thoughts and visual images by convincing yourself that you can do whatever it is that you are embarking upon. 

Take the time in solitude to visually project that you are going to be proficient in what ever that you are setting out to do. Do this on a regular basis and make it part of your life patterns. 

Although, you may not have actually experienced the goal that you have set to realize, you must still expect to be and believe it deeply. If your goal is to create an Adonis like body, imagine yourself walking on the beach with your shirt off with a six pack and rippling muscles. Visualize yourself in the gym and feeling the pain of the exercises. Create scenarios in your mind of eating healthy, working out and getting proper rest.

This is visualization.

Get educated on that which you are trying to be self-confident in, now imagine you are enjoying the wonderful ramifications of this mental imagery. 

Visualization is the 1st step in learning how to build confidence.

2. Verbal Affirmations – Don't stop with mental thoughts, when learning how to build confidence, visualization must be expressed verbally. Verbal affirmations help strengthen your beliefs that you desire to manifest in real-time. When you verbalize your ambitions or goals, there is an instant empowerment of reassurance that our goal oriented thoughts will become a reality.   

As you verbally support the validity of that which you are thinking in a positive way, you can rewire pathways in your brain. Endorphins are released in the hypothalamus, much like in exercise and it stimulates other areas of the brain to create more neurons of positive thoughts. 

When you continuously create positive thoughts and then verbally affirm them, you are breaking old destructive patterns and forming new ones that are constructive. 

The brilliant American philosopher George Herbert Palmer observed that,"he that can explain himself can command what he wants and he who cannot is left into poverty." The art of the spoken word is critical in engineering our futures.  King Solomon said, "Death and life are in the power of the tongue" (Proverbs 18:21). 

Verbal affirmations is the second step forward learning how to build confidence.

3. Practice and Experience - As wonderful as visualization and verbal affirmations are, they are worth nothing if you do not experience your goals in real-time. As a matter of fact, this can be idiosyncratically dangerous for you think that you are an expert in something that you have no experience in.

Without putting them into reality, you can develop what is referred to as the Dunning Kruger effect. The Dunning Kruger effect is a mental disorder in which unskilled people suffer from incompetence. They mistakingly believe that they have proficient abilities when in actuality they do not. They woefully lack skills that they believe that they possess and if they do try to practice them in the real world without experience the end result is utter dismal failure.

The only way that you're going to see your self-confidence grow and come to fruition is to practice.

When learning how to build confidence, after you have exercised the first two steps of visualization and verbal affirmations you must take action. If you want to be a painter, then you must paint. If you want to be a public speaker, then you must speak openly and in a public setting. If you want to become a trial lawyer, you must go to law school and practice the art of debate. The more you practice what you’re endeavoring to be confident in the more you become successful at it. New habits are developed and your self-confidence grows to higher levels. 

If you are uncomfortable with talking to members of the opposite sex, you must change this attitude, get out there and start talking to them. Do some research on the needs of a man or woman, believe in yourself, accost them, open up your mouth and see what happens. At the end of the conversation, you may get a phone number or you may not. Analyze how the conversation went. Do self-introspection and critique yourself so that next time your approach may be better. They say that self-confidence is the holy grail of the pickup.

The old adage, “practice makes perfect” is a viable concept. No one is perfect in any capacity, however, you can become very proficient at anything you want to do provided that you get in there and do it! This is the third and most important step in learning how to build confidence.

"People grow through experience if they meet life honestly and courageously. This is how character is built." Eleanor Roosevelt

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Mistakes

Mistakes are for learning!

You are going to make mistakes and make them often. It’s inevitable! It will happen! Why? First of all, you are entering into a brand-new phase of your life. As a result of such, there will be a sense of uneasiness whenever you proverbially "swim in uncharted waters." New habits need to be developed and it typically takes about 21 days to have a new life pattern ingrained within your neural processes. This is essential when learning how to build confidence.

It will be frustrating at times when you are trying to exceed in something as you are learning for the first time how to build confidence in this particular area. You must never give up. Take a note from successful people in the past who never quit and appeared to grow with resiliency until the end:

The great Henry Ford failed and went broke five times before he succeeded and became known for his Model- T automobiles. 

Babe Ruth is known for being a home run hitter, but he struck out more times than he hit the baseball. His rationale, “Every strikeout, brings me closer to the next home run.”

Thomas Edison’s teachers said that he was too stupid to learn anything. When asked what it felt like to fail 1000 times as he was developing his famous lightbulb, he replied and said, “I didn’t fail 1000 times, the light bulb was an invention with 1000 steps.”

Remember, a mistake is not a failure. Mistakes are indicative of learning curves. Failures, however, are when you decide to capitulate to the frustration of missing the mark, which is going to happen. Never give up and you will develop the needed self-confidence to fulfill your goals as you learn how to build confidence. 

There are nearly 7.2 billion people on planet Earth, spanning 196 countries, speaking about 6500 different languages and dialects. All of us, provided we are mentally sane, can learn how to build confidence to create a life of positivity. It is never easy, but can be accomplished provided the right techniques are incorporated. To start off you must have a supple mindset, because your attitude determines your altitude.

Remember, “To be the best you, you must be courageous enough to be you!” You start that way, everything will fall in place and you can achieve your personal growth.

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